Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Negative Advertising

I’m boycotting Goodfellas frozen pizza.

Admittedly, it’s never been my first choice, because usually even the house-brand at Tesco or Sainsbury’s is better, but occasionally when it’s been on special or other brands are out of stock, I’ve bought their brand.

But the advert I saw on TV last night was so disgusting it made me sick to my stomach. And no, it wasn’t just the sight of pepperoni (which to these vegetarian eyes is pretty grim). It was the attitude of the advertiser.

The advert shows a mock interviewer following an increasingly desperate restaurant owner around a supermarket. He’s apparently attempting to hide or steal or by a range of means, obstruct customers’ attempts to buy Goodfellas pizza.

The “interviewer” asks him how business is going, and when he replies that he has a meeting with his bank manager, the “interviewer” gloatingly asks who called the meeting. The restaurant owner has to confess that it was the bank.

The adverts suggestion is that their frozen pizza (ha-bloody-ha) is driving pizzerias out of business. That is mean-spirited to begin with, but what is worse is the agonising delight they appear to take as they show the increasing desperation and panic of the restaurateur as he faces losing his livelihood.

It is shameful and despicable.

That a giant corporation can, through its advertising agency, ask us as viewers and consumers, to collude in this disgusting display is unforgivable. Perhaps soulless corporate bean-counters get some joy in watching a small business owner being ground down and humiliated by their mass-market junk food, but I don’t.

That the advertising agency even thinks that frozen pizza is in competition with pizzerias is a laughable conceit.

They’re mean-spirited, arrogant bullies and I shan’t be buying their product anymore, and I hope you will consider joining me. Let’s make it “closing time for Goodfellas”.


At 12:56 pm, Anonymous Don said...

You just have nothing constructive to do with your time do you, you white bitch boy of a gay bastard.
If you're allowed to judge other people and organisations, then why can't the rest of us judge you poofs?
So you like pizza eh? Must admit i'm impartial to a bit of halal pizza myself. However did you know that some worldclass cooks such as Gordon Ramsey have discovered "homo" recipes? Heres one..

Gay Soup (serves upto 100)
1 homo finely chopped
20 onions chopped
10 red peppers cut into slices
All Spice powder
Big cauldron of water.

Bring water to a boil and add the homo meat, allow to simmer for 3 hours, increase heat and add in the rest of the ingrediants, simmer again for one hour.
Serve immediately with mango drink.

Ramsey himself, who first learned about the joys of homo meat in south america and parts of asia, says homo meat is 3 times(!) more tender than lamb. In fact homo meat cooked with white truffle has been known to make people faint with its exquisite taste!

Even in the face of such political correctness and secret pressure from groups like Outrage! Ramsey is due to go public with his homo recipes...

At 4:29 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So tough behind your computer screen arn't you?

Gay wimps, you have no balls.

Violence is an unfortunate but necessary part of breaking loose the shackles that bind you, can you do that? Do you know any gays that can even throw a punch?

Righty-ho, Don. Why not provide us all with a name and address and we'll find out?

You pussy-boy coward little fuckwit.

At 5:40 pm, Anonymous don said...

You call yourself anonymous then tell me to provide personal details, what irony!

At 8:06 pm, Blogger Brian Miller said...

I think we're supposed to be all intimidated. Or something.

At 9:54 am, Anonymous Don said...

No you're not supposed to be intimidated, you're supposed to die. I want to use your own pistol to kill you.
How does it feel knowing we Muslims wouldn't think twice about gassing you gays in Nazi style camps?

At 11:49 am, Blogger Brian Miller said...

There are more Muslims than yourself and the voices in your head, you know.

At 12:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus you are pathetic posturing little turd Don. Reckon your a real hard man right? Coming on here and threatening people. 5.6" of muscle? Haha. Shortarse ugly plonker then. Thats why you have to post on so many singles chat rooms, cos' of all the pussy you get. Loser. Just another muslim with an inferiority complex. Is it your religion that makes you feel that way Don? or just the fact that you are a midget (mentally & physically). By the way all your empty rhetoric about the world hating gays is just that....empty(just like your head in fact). There are plenty of straight people just like me who believe in gay rights and would be happy to deal with bigoted retards like you in the way you deserve. I'll shove your green belt down your throat you snivelling little toad. The thing is Don, i know your name, ethnicity, height, the color of your hair and eyes, and your age & location. Do you know how easy it would be to find you? Do you ever wonder when you're walking down the street if somebody is watching you? What if they walked right up to you and hit you in the face with a hammer without warning? Do you wonder what that would feel like Don? Do you think your green belt will do you any good then? You should keep that thought in mind before you go abusing people on the internet. Ya get me?

At 12:47 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here's a link to his photo. Poor Don. I bet he has to beat them off with a shitty stick......NOT!


PS He's the dweeb on the right. Anybody good at photoshop? This could be FUN!

At 1:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh shut up, they are a huge company, it's called advertising. There are far more important things in this world to be worrying about.

At 1:30 pm, Anonymous Don said...

Very well anonymous, in martial arts you are taught "to know thine enemy". Since I don't know who you are and most likely you won't tell me, then I have no choice but to leave, unless you want to make things fair and reveal your identity...
I also feel uncomfortable knowing you have my photo and can do anything with it.
Therefore its time to bid adieu, the battle has been lost but not the war. I will never accept gays because my divine book tells me that, no other reason is needed, and nothing, not even a hammer in the face, can change that! You may have driven me away, but you haven't changed me, how does that make you feel?

At 2:33 pm, Anonymous anon said...

I'm not interested in making things 'fair' Don. I wasn't the one making homophobic and threatening remarks towards people on this blog now was I? Do yourself a favour and disappear, because if you don't, i will create a blog called "donlunnanisahomophobiccoward@blogspot.com" (or something similar) and post every nasty little comment you made here along with your photo and personal details. Then, i will post a link to it on every public forum i can manage over the course of a weekend and make you famous. Got that? As for how i feel? I have no more wish to change you, than i do a turd i stepped on in the street. Once i've wiped it from the bottom of my shoe i forget about it. Clean & Serene. Buh-bye now & don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

At 2:47 pm, Blogger Brian Miller said...

How funny, anonymous. . . suddenly he's gone from big talker to tucking tail and running.

Like I said before, all talk, no shock.

And my suspicion was obviously correct -- he IS a little boy. ;)

At 3:18 pm, Anonymous chrisError said...

I'm sorry brett, after all those nice, clever posts you've given us all about homophobia round the world, lying politicians and (lack of)universal human rights, it's your post on frozen pizza that gets the most comments :S

If it does the same for the bands publicity machine, the errorplains will lady join yo outside GOODFELLAS factories...

chris :)

At 11:17 am, Anonymous Chuck said...

I like the funny exchanges we sometimes get on this site. I quite liked Don's missives. Why are you driving away someone who has made us all smile? Seems like repression of free speech to me...

At 11:07 am, Anonymous Jamie Fitzpatrick said...

"sick to my stomach"

But unfortunately not as sick as your smarmy ignorance makes most people feel.

At 10:07 pm, Blogger Brett Lock said...

"But unfortunately not as sick as your smarmy ignorance makes most people feel.

Care to elaborate?

Ignorence of what?

Or do you enjoy the image of small businesses crushed by giant corporations? Is that supposed to make more people want to buy pizza? "Gee honey, with every purchase we can help push Guido down the street further towards bankrupcy.. shall we get mushroom or peperoni?"

At 2:41 pm, Anonymous Don said...

"The thing is Don, i know your name, ethnicity, height, the color of your hair and eyes, and your age & location".
I think I know who you are anonymous, you are Brian Miller. How do I know? Cos you're the only American in here, and you used the word "color" instead of "colour" which is the British spelling. Haha i'd make a great detective you pink pistol carrying poofter.

At 8:33 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zzzzz. You really are a thick Brummie Twat Don. Maybe if i walk up to you and whisper 'Yam Awroight there brother?' before i rearrange your ugly mush, it will convince you that i am not Brian (and neither is my wife). Im closer than you think Don....much closer. Now fuck off and don't make me follow up on my promise to make you famous. Do you want to end up like Amir here?


Imagine that...1 million hits in 8 days.

At 8:34 pm, Blogger Simon B said...

Hi Brett,

With fear of sounding like Benji, It's all a storm in a teacup isn't it, old boy? It's only an advert. Adverts are meant to be annoying. I don't think anyone at all wil be determined to drive the pizzerias out of business after watching it.

Having said that, I'll never buy e-sure insurance on principle...

Oh, and isn't Don a tough guy? And he's impartial(sic) to a bit of pizza.

At 10:36 am, Anonymous chrisError said...

hmmm...I was just writing a post about how I was suprised at the campaign as most brands tend to want purely positive images, and not to be associated with the negative aspects of being successful, and then it dawned on me. Maybe this campaign by GoodFellas, is actually amazing. Maybe large corporations are now going to get into honest advertsing (like that Dudley Moore film in the 80s), maybe NIKE will start using footage of sweatshops ("The children work harder to make you run harder") or maybe KFC will start showing their chicken farms ("Treat them mean, to keep 'em lean!") or then again maybe not....


At 1:51 pm, Anonymous Don said...

Very well, i will let sleeping dogs lie! Bye for forever!

At 1:43 am, Blogger Brian Miller said...

I know who you are anonymous, you are Brian Miller

Not hardly. For one thing, I never blog anonymously. For another, Brett's blog is read by people around the world, including in the United States.

Thirdly, I don't have the sort of time which would be required to hunt down the details of pathetic creatures such as yourself who issue death threats. I leave that sort of work to the authorities. ;)


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